In The Grand Scheme of Things

But God, who comforts the downcast, comforted us ...  2 Corinthians 7:6

I got some devastating news last night that was confirmed this morning.  One of the people who was influential in my college career, including my becoming a Delta, passed away.  The worst part of this was that she passed away 3 years ago and I didn't know. Mrs. Crystal Wesley Lackey was an angel for me.  She made sure I had a job during my junior and senior years of college (I was a mentor at the Intel Computer Clubhouse).  She was definitely a should to cry on at various points and a pillar of strength both practically and spiritually.

As my mind is spinning right now, the one thing that stands out through the spinning, is whether in the grand scheme of things, is my desired destination and the things I am pursuing worth all the effort and losses along the way? Worth the weddings missed, birthdays that passed, friendships that have ended?  Is it worth it?  Is it worth the lives lost and the good-byes I never got to say?  Is it worth it?  I think that's why God made My One Word focus for the year to be "live".  Because in constantly pressing past the pain, overlooking it and sometimes ignoring it altogether to get to "some place", I've compounded the pain, which I still had to deal with (thank God I've done that now!!), and I have missed opportunities to be there for people when it meant the most.

I have comfort in knowing that Ms. Wesley wanted me to pursue greatness and to continue in the trajectory I'm going.  I have comfort in knowing that this woman, who helped to instill strength and wisdom in me at critical points in my life, is proud of me for doing all the things I've done in my life thus far, especially spiritually.  She would not have been disappointed in me for doing these things.

This has taught me that no matter how busy life gets, that its important to step outside of your bubble and make sure to connect with the ones who matter...because in the grand scheme of things, God blesses us, gives to us, and teaches us through the people He puts in our lives.

Rest in Paradise Ms Wesley...I'm forever grateful to you for your contributions to the woman I am today!