Daily Devotion #2

Your First Love

 

"I love those who love me; And those who diligently seek me will find me."  Proverbs 8:17 NASB

 

For sometime now, the lyrics of "Go Back" by Israel and New Breed have been on my mind.  A while back, I finally downloaded the song.  Only now in light of some major changes in my life, do I realize why I needed to listen to this song.

 

It was revealed to me that I have always in some way, since I was at least 14 years old, in some type of relationship with a guy.  I either had a boyfriend, a friend or two, or just some guy that liked me, that I would talk to.  Of course, I would develop an attachment to those people.  Instead of seeking after God, I would be more concerned about that person and where our involvement would go.  I got saved and baptized when I was 9 years old.  Don't get me wrong, I was excited about being 'born again' and 'getting saved' and just learning more about God.  But I didn't understand the brevity of the commitment I had taken.  I didn't realize that God, who is love, wanted to love me more than anyone in the world.  More than my momma and daddy ever could.  You could say I had a misconception of God and Jesus for a long time.  But as I learned this about myself, I realized I had never taken the time to love God and let Him love me back.  I had never been in a relationship with God.  Initially, having a boyfriend was just something to do, so I often didn't keep one too long.  But once I had my first few 'serious' relationships, I got into the habit of succumbing to the other person and losing myself by not nurturing my relationship with God.  The truth is I did not know myself, because living a life without a true relationship with God will never allow you to know yourself. 

 

As I experienced situation after situation, sometimes in a relationship, other times not, but still 'talking' to someone, I would question and ask God why, as I built the wall around my heart and against Him.  Why had this person hurt me, when they said they loved me?  Why did I get sick in college, have my kidneys fail right after my 23rd birthday, have a transplant, lose my cousin, and most of all my earthly father--if God loved me, why did He allow it to happen?  Well, as I listened to this song a few nights (literally, I'll play one of my playlists the entire night) I realized it was to draw me closer to Him. It is His turn, He says, to be in a relationship with me. 

 

Many of us, both men and women alike, try to fill the voids with people--family, friends, and romantic relationships.  We then put God on the back right or left burners to simmer and we check in with Him from time to time.  Meanwhile, all the hurts, hang-ups and pains in our lives continue to grow in the back corner like ignored dust bunnies.  And all along, God is back there, reminding us who He is to us and that He wants to save us, heal us, deliver us and make us whole.

 

I know it is often easier said than done to 'be' in a relationship with God.  But like I said, I was saved at 9.  So for me, He really is my first love.  He stirred something within me then that has always sustained the need to return to Him.  I encourage you to evaluate your relationships, and make sure God is your first love--not money, not a person, or some other inanimate thing...because all those things fade and when it comes time for God to call your name it would be sad if He said He doesn't know you.

 

"Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?"  Romans 8:35 NASB

Daily Devotion

The Art of Noise

"And after the earthquake there was a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire there was the sound of a gentle whisper."  1 Kings 19:12

 

I hear from God.  Sometimes He is always speaking, other times not so much.  A lot of times I have so much noise, so many distractions in my life and heart that I cannot hear Him speaking. 

 

God speaks to all of us.  I have learned that God has allowed some unsettling situations, difficult experiences, and quite frankly, destruction to wreak havoc in my life just to get my attention.  I realized that though I have a relationship with God, I demoted Him.  God was not number one in my life--no He came a distant second to whatever I happened to be dwelling or focusing on at that moment.  From work, to family, to school, and let me not exclude them, relentless pursuit of a relationship...they have all taken precedence over God at different times in my life.  And when anything does that, that is noise for you because you will not be able to hear from God clearly.  I have even lost what I felt was seeking His will to become noise for me, noise to not give Him the time, attention, and affection He needs.

 

My last nearly three years back in South Carolina have been tumultuous to say the least, from my surgery to my cousin and dad's deaths, to finally having a plan and perspective for my life.  But at the heart of these things has been the call of God drawing me back in relationship with Him.  Yet instead I focused on each event--the noise, most definitely the negatives of these situations, rather than seeking God's purpose for each event.  We have to acknowledge life for what it is because it would be foolish to walk around in denial.  However, the distinction is that we can walk alone and continue to live in a noisy world, without God's guidance and direction, straying ever so far away from His planned destination.  Or we can cling to God in the midst of each situation and learn more about the person God is creating us to be.  We can learn to love ourselves in the reflection of God's presence--because God is love.  We can step out of the noisy room and get quiet.  For me, God sent me on trips...go figure...where I would inadvertently be alone, and He would speak crystal clear so that I could not deny Him being there.

Noise can be used to create some of the most beautiful things.  Look at the precious stones created after the explosion of volcanoes.  I most certainly know that God has created in me some beautiful things, out of the hard, painful things life has dealt to me.  I realize though that it is through the noise that I have learned to listen more carefully. 

 

"Listen and hear my voice; pay attention and hear what I say." Isaiah 28:24 NIV