My God Is Real

They conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they did not love their lives in the face of death.   Revelation 12:11

I was battling on sharing this, but I'll rather be obedient any day than resist.  So here goes.

I have been doing the 40 day prayer challenge (I began again on November 8) Draw the Circle by Mark Batterson.  One of my prayers during the prayer challenge is for direction in what to do and how to pray for others.  And I never imagined how God would answer this prayer.  I assumed it would something like, pull back from this person, pray for her, or him, or whatever.  But God being the great God that He is...completely blew my mind yesterday and today.

A person very dear to me was the subject of a dream I had November 15.  I wondered what it could mean for a while then I came to understand after praying some parts of the dream.  I made up in my mind that I would not hesitate to reach out, so I texted her on Monday of last week and made plans to talk to her the next day.  By some weird occurrences, we did not talk on Tuesday, but she texted me on Wednesday.  I called her after class at 9:25 or so, and was only going to talk to her during my commute to work, but ended up being on the phone for nearly an hour.

From that conversation, I came to understand that I went through what I had gone through going up and the subsequent healing process God has lead me through afterwards for a reason.  I was grateful I could share what God did for me with her and was grateful for the great things that await her now--comfort others the way you yourself have been comforted (2 Cor 1:4).  She had literally experienced some of the same things I went through:  she had been molested, like I was, and she had also been raped and sexually assaulted, and she had her suffering overlooked, like mine had been, by some of the same people who overlooked mine and it had dictated her life choices like it had for me for a long time.  I was able to share how great God is and how much He loves us, how He sees us through the blood of Jesus.  I also explained to her how those things had controlled me, but how God delivered me and would do the same for her.  I vowed that I would check on her regularly and that she could reach out to me whenever and we would go through it together.

I went out of town this weekend, and even while out of town I checked on her...which I normally would not.  If you call into the prayer line, I normally do not make myself available when I have things going on because I have learned the importance of balance.  But for whatever reason, God made sure to make me respond.  

So then comes yesterday.  I made it back in safely and was heading to my niece's birthday party.  Then I received some very upsetting texts from her and my heart broke.  She decided she could not take the pressures of everything she had endured and is currently enduring any more.  She decided that she was going to end her life.  I was stunned and so very sad, but I prayed because I immediately thought about my own limitations and how I was helpless to physically help her...I offered to try and help her with her bills if I had money to help.  I was sad that I had class and work today and could not go to stop her.  But I remembered to pray...I texted several people very close to me who I knew I could trust to pray, who all responded and prayed.  One of my prayer partners and my mom agreed that we would pray with her personally and I was praying while I was at my niece's party.  We got back home and I did the only thing I knew how to do...I prayed.  I believed that only God could fix the situation and everything He pressed on my heart to bind up and decree and declare over her life I did.  My mom left after she shared some critical words with her and then she began to speak.  My mom and prayer partner both noticed something was wrong with her speech from the beginning of the call, but I kept praying.  My prayer partner and I began to share additional scriptures with her and it was then that there was a shift.  

Immediately, she began to speak clearly and began to call on the name of Jesus, saying wow, I understand now, I see what you were doing, I finally understand why you have been bringing it all back now, I need more, and just praising God.  I myself felt the presence of the Lord and I just began to cry and praise Him for whatever was happening.  She had a real, personal encounter with God, and it was then that things began to change...she went from defeat to victory, from victim to victor, and began to profess her faith.

What we did not know when we got on the phone was that she had taken 12 pills and was drinking.  What we did not know is that they began to kick in while we were on the phone.  What we did not know is that God decided to make himself real to her in the midst of the drugs taking effect in her system and give her a clarity that she has never had.  I am fighting back tears typing this...because God saved her and did not let her die.  He did not let her give up and He validated my faith yesterday.  Even in talking to her today, He personally assured me to know that everything that I am praying for will be okay and will work out.  So...I will not and I cannot worry. I will not and I cannot doubt Him anymore.  If He could save her from a certain death by overdosing, He can fix everything concerning me and who I am praying for.  He can right every wrong and redeem every loss.  He can redeem the time and give us double for our trouble, just like He did with Job.  I know this was long, but if you don't believe in God, or don't think He cares....just...please try Him out.  Miracles still happen every day.  We have just been conditioned in our world to think they don't happen and that God is not real.  There are so many people that make you want to think that God is a figment of your imagination, but when you witness Him save someone, or if you experience Him saving your life as He has saved mine countless times,  you stop questioning and start surrendering.  So try God out.  Ask Him for a personal encounter, a personal experience and to show Himself to you.  Vow to trust Him...and believe today.

Many of the Samaritans from that town believed in him because of the woman's testimony, "He told me everything I ever did."  John 4:39

Get Ticked Off

On the next day, when they had left Bethany, He became hungry. 13Seeing at a distance a fig tree in leaf, He went to see if perhaps He would find anything on it; and when He came to it, He found nothing but leaves, for it was not the season for figs. 14He said to it, “May no one ever eat fruit from you again!” And His disciples were listening.

As they were passing by in the morning, they saw the fig tree withered from the roots up. 21Being reminded, Peter said to Him, “Rabbi, look, the fig tree which You cursed has withered.” 22And Jesus answered saying to them, “Have faith in God. 23“Truly I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and cast into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says is going to happen, it will be granted him. 24“Therefore I say to you, all things for which you pray and ask, believe that you have received them, and they will be granted you. 25“Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father who is in heaven will also forgive you your transgressions. 26[“But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father who is in heaven forgive your transgressions.”]

Mark 11:12-14, 20-26

Today and this weekend, this passage took on new meaning for me and my faith walk.  As I was talking with one of my prayer partners today, I was having to scold her almost.  But it literally was during the conversation with her that I came to understand how important it is to have faith in God and believe that the things we pray for will manifest.  I almost got frustrated with her and with myself because it finally sunk it what this meant.  Primarily, if we ask God for healing, we must be so convinced that it will happen that nothing anyone says to us, nothing we read, nothing the doctor says and nothing the enemy wants us to think can steal it from us.  I looked the 23rd verse up in the lexicon dictionary and the greek word for "Be taken" means to raise, take up and to lift.  The greek word for "up and cast" means to throw, cast.  So literally, the mountains, the obstacles in our lives have to be raised, taken up (uprooted), and lifted and then thrown and cast into the sea.  This requires action!! None of this is passive.

I realized how quickly I have given up on some of the promises God has spoken to me in my own life.  Now it makes sense what He told me to believe and have faith this past week, and to not give up on what He has said.  I have almost been cynical and doubtful like Sarah had been when the Angel of the Lord told her that she would have a son about some of the things He has promised me. (See Genesis 18:1-15; don't laugh at God!)  I have listened to the doubt-filled words of others and taken situations at face value and accepted them for what it is. But today's revelation and some of the things that happened this weekend have lit a fire in my heart to go get what He has promised me.

If you want your healing, you have to go get it.  If you want a job, apply for jobs.  If you want to be married, close the doors on old relationships, cast off the baggage from relationships past, be healed and be married to God for your season.  Allow God to mold you into the husband or wife you are called to be.  None this is passive.  You cannot wait passively for God to heal you if you do not confess healing scriptures and cast down every thought that seeks to discourage you.  You will not get married and be happily married if you are still bitter and broken hearted among other things; you have got to believe that God will prepare you.  Also, you need to pray that whatever obstacles to that moment are removed and believe it!  Case and point, pray and believe that it will happen and if there is an obstacle, i.e. distance, your growth, your maturity and healing, generational curses and insecurities--speak to them.  Get into the word; find scriptures for what it is that you are believing God for.  You will not get a job or a different career without some applications.  You cannot get mad at God if you do not do or have not done your part.  Yes, sometimes these things require patience.  Patience is an action also.  But stagnancy and complacency do not mean the same thing; you cannot just let it pass you by.  Seize the day!  Get the healing you need.  Exercise your faith and do your part.  I firmly believe that is why verse 25 and 26 are included, you have to be willing to forgive yourself and others to be healed, which of course emphasize your call to action.  You have to do something.  So, get ticked off like Jesus did with the fig tree.  Stop letting your blessings pass you by.  Believe!!!!!

And He said to them, "Because of the littleness of your faith; for truly I say to you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move; and nothing will be impossible to you.  Matthew 17:20

When Bold is All You Can Be

Now He was telling them a parable to show that at all times they ought to pray and not to lose heart, 2saying, “In a certain city there was a judge who did not fear God and did not respect man. 3“There was a widow in that city, and she kept coming to him, saying, ‘Give me legal protection from my opponent.’ 4“For a while he was unwilling; but afterward he said to himself, ‘Even though I do not fear God nor respect man, 5yet because this widow bothers me, I will give her legal protection, otherwise by continually coming she will wear me out.’” 6And the Lord said, “Hear what the unrighteous judge said; 7now, will not God bring about justice for His elect who cry to Him day and night, and will He delay long over them? 8“I tell you that He will bring about justice for them quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will He find faith on the earth?”  Luke 18:1-8

If you have ever reached that point in a situation where all you can do is pray...you can no longer reason, you can't figure it out on your own, and you cannot change the situation for yourself...you have reached the place you should have reached at the beginning of the situation.  It is much easier said than done.  Today and the last week God has been sending the reminder to me and for me to share with others that we need to be bold.  We need to pray bold prayers, and we need to really exert our faith.  It's like the "Test Your Might" games, where you muster up all the strength you can to score as high as you can.  This is the point of no return, where your faith must buck up and stand strong to reveal God's purpose.

Boldness can often be confused with arrogance, cockiness, and conceit.  But in the true sense of the word, it implies courage.  It is time to be courageous in your faith and face the situations that lie ahead.  But don't do it lying down.  Recognize that God goes before you and in turning the situation over to Him, He alone can order your steps in the way that will propel you to your destination.  

I read this passage in the commentary and what sticks out to me is the callousness of the judge.  He did not care--your job does not care, your significant other, your family, your friends, your bill collectors, the doctor, even the judge--they do not care.  And because they do not care, it makes the injury even more painful.  But the greatness of God reminds us that He is greater than all of these "judges" in our lives.  Keep praying, keep asking, keep knocking, and keep seeking.  And He who is faithful and just will answer you!  Be bold, be strong and of good courage.  Know that God will answer and will move on your behalf.  

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.  Galatians 6:9

Welcome the Inconveniences

And some men were carrying on a bed a man who was paralyzed; and they were trying to bring him in and to set him down in front of Him. 19But not finding any way to bring him in because of the crowd, they went up on the roof and let him down through the tiles with his stretcher, into the middle of the crowd, in front of Jesus. 20Seeing their faith, He said, "Friend, your sins are forgiven you."  Luke 5:18-20

As I sit here at my desk, I am fighting tears.  I have not been this overcome with a desire for a touch of God in a while.  In fact, even though I pray many times a day, talk with God regularly, pray and intercede for others, I have felt an emptiness in some areas.  Most of it is because I have been trying to live life as I wanted it, rushing things along, trying to figure it all out.  It is also because I have not allowed God to refill me.  THAT will drive you crazy.  Things fall apart, people change their minds, people don't comply, and things simply go awry.  But today and honestly the last few weeks I have had a renewed desire to seek God even more intently than before, especially with some things on the horizon.  I welcome it all.

I began reading a new book a few weeks ago.  It's titled "The Grave Robber" by Mark Batterson, author of the Circle Maker and its corresponding prayer challenge, Draw The Circle (which I LOVE!!).  It details Jesus' ministry via the book of John, walking through the miracles detailed therein.  And it has honestly ignited a love of Jesus in me that I never knew.  How He transcends time, distance, space, states (solids, liquids, and gases--as a math/science lover this is spot on for me), laws of physics, lol, in performing these miracles, it truly reveals who He is as God incarnate.  Between reading this book, finishing up the prayer challenge and starting over, listening to the sermon series by my home church pastor (IT is AWESOME!) and then yesterday listening to TD Jakes' sermon at the recommendation of one of the ladies I pray for...I have just been full.  Oh and let me not forget listening to Fill Me Up, sung by the praise team at the Potter's House, then listening to Tasha Cobbs sing it and then listening to the original by Jesus Culture...okay yes I'm there.  But today, I read something that stuck out.  Are you willing to be inconvenienced?  I can't lie, I have NOT been willing.  I have been tired, burnt out, upset with God, frustrated and confused at why I have been having to pray for this person, listen to that person, stay up late, wake up early, read this, confess that, and most of it was not for me at all!!  I literally wished at times He would stop being cryptic with me and just tell me! Haha I was being selfish, because I have my own things going on.  But the truth is, like I have done time and time again, I have not been trusting God and I have been dodging Him in acknowledging the answers to prayers He has shown me.  

Not too often do we want to be inconvenienced.  The homeless person on the corner asking for food or money, the family member or friend that just wants to spend time with us or in need of a listening ear, or the complete stranger that needs prayer...these things...not happening or getting our time.  But I was reminded today that it is in the inconveniences that we experience the miracles of God.  The Roman official who WALKED 20+ miles to have his son healed, the woman with the issue of blood that fought through the crowd to merely touch the hem of his garment, the Good Samaritan that spent his own money to take care of the man who had been beaten and robbed, and these four friends that carried their paralytic friend to the roof of a house, opened it and lowered him down so that he could be healed by Jesus...these stories, all these instances represent inconveniences that people endured to go after what they wanted.  As I was reading, it was like the story was on loud speaker like I was at church and I was thinking, yep, faith without works is dead.  

Sometimes, well most if not all of the time, the touch of God we seek will require us to step outside the bounds of comfort.  How often do you look beyond the immediacy of what is going on in your life to be inconvenienced?  Even in your own needs, you give up after praying a few times, right?  You question what God spoke to you.  You doubt.  You contemplate turning your back on your faith.  You.give.up.  You run back to Him and repeat the process again.  In these days and times, we live for instant gratification.  Microwave society as I love to call it.  We cannot have a microwave faith.  As one of my blog readers/youTube channel subscribers wrote me, if God healed us or delivered us instantly in some cases, we would no longer have a need for Him.  I know this to be true.  I realize now if God would have completely healed me in college, I would not have sought Him in prayer before my transplant, where many of my family, friends, and church members gathered together to intercede for me and my brother.  But if you look around and even in your own lives, its apparent, you thirst for His touch too.  You long for His presence and you long for His impartation.  So today, be inconvenienced.  Extend yourself.  Talk to your friends, pray for your family and coworkers.  Respond in faith, however God leads you.  So many things that I have been seeing are now making sense...welcome the inconveniences today.  You never know, the miracle you (or someone else) seek could be waiting for you past the inconvenience.

When Jesus saw their faith, he said, "Friend, your sins are forgiven."  Luke 5:20