If You Love Something, Let It Go

Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much.  James 5:16 NASB

Cast your burden upon the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken.  Psalms 55:22 NASB

Sunday before this past one, I went to church with my mentor.  The sermon she gave was great and reminded me of the importance of being covered in your armor.  However, what I'm going to share was the sermon outside of the sermon, the importance of surrendering a thing to God. 

At the church we visited, it was Women's Day.  There was an older woman who was the Women's Day committee chair.  Unknown to her, the women of the church, including the First Lady, decided to honor her and had her granddaughter dance, and 4 of her daughters were there in attendance.  The love the church had for this woman and the love and honor the daughters displayed for her was beautiful.  But what stuck out to me was when she got up to speak.  She testified of God's goodness, but what spoke to my heart was how she prayed for her children, raised them in the church, and left them to God.  And as a result, 6 of her 7 children are saved.  Even now, she is still praying for the last child to turn to God. It brings to mind Luke 15--the parable of the Lost Sheep and the parable of the Lost Coin.

She loves her children, as all parents do; as God loves all of us.  Even when we fall short, even when we want to quit, even when we want to turn our backs on Him and even when we do, He still loves us.  As I write this, I am reminded of the Prodigal Son.  I felt like that this week, wanting to quit and drop all these burdens that have been placed on me and go about life my own way.  And God being God, He will let you go, should you desire to go your own way.  But His word will still be in your heart, His promises still on your mind.  And hopefully, one day you will wake up and remember who you are, like the Prodigal son, and return to Him to be reunited to Him.  Now this is not a message to encourage you to stray, but if you have already strayed or are interceding for someone else, leave them to God.  Leave that person that is tugging on your heart strings to God, and like that mother, they will return to Him, because even when it doesn't seem like it, God answer our prayers.

The beauty of both of these situations was how the love of God was apparent.  That mother at the church loved her children and wanted to see them all saved and that father in the parable rejoiced at seeing his wayward son come home; both are evidence of God's never-ending love for us.  So whatever is weighing you down, a relationship, desires of marriage, family, or friendships, let it go.  Let go to God, and trust, in due time, it will return to you, better than before.  Maybe with a different person for a relationship, or a new friendship, but trust God loves you so much that He will give you exactly what you need.

"And the son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight; I am no longer worthy to be called your son.'  "But the father said to his slaves, 'Quickly bring out the best robe and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet; and bring the fattened calf, kill it, and let us eat and celebrate;  for this son of mine was dead and has come to life again; he was lost and has been found.' And they began to celebrate.  Luke 15:21-24

Fwd: Are You Reflecting Christ?

"The King will answer and say to them, 'Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.'  Matthew 25:40

     This week has been interesting to say the least.  God has done several things for me:  in my oversleeping today thanks to all this lovely rain, I missed my ride to Atlanta for fellowship with our baby church, but I took the opportunity to go get a bike from the bike auction at school for $65 (altogether $135 for a new inner-tube and a major tune-up, I'm so excited!!).  Before that though, He has clearly shown me in 3 dating scenarios that I don't want to date here in New Orleans and that its best for me to keep waiting as He told me to (be obedient, and WAIT on the man He has for me...-_-) lol.  He also showed me the importance of being covered in the armor of the Spirit because we are battling greater things than we see in the news...and that is a whole separate writing within itself.  But probably the most painful lesson I learned, and it didn't even involve me, was that we have to truly learn to reflect Christ.  I know we are all not perfect, not exactly where He wants us to be, but the world is watching us.

     I don't know about you, but I don't take every opportunity that crosses my way as an opportunity for ministry.  Plenty of times, and it hurts me greatly, I don't give to the poor because I don't have time to stop or I don't have to give.  I don't always smile at everyone I see.  I don't always speak.  And don't let me get on my negligence of some of my family members...hahaha.  I don't call, I don't text, and I don't do what I should.  I recognize now that in many situations I don't reflect Christ.  When I go out and party now, I am a lot more reserved because ultimately I know that everything I do is being watched and being scrutinized.  I very fondly remember a conversation from when I lived in Charleston at how my going out with my friends could be seen as hypocritical. (Now that is another devotion, one I already wrote about, that has two sides...)  

     But anyway, in this situation this week, I was asked legal questions, which I legally and ethically cannot answer and told this lady that cornered me in the restroom at work those very words.  Her situation was with a tenant that had somewhat suspiciously tried to break her lease.  The tenant claimed that the house had been broken into, and decided to move out and wanted to reclaim her $1200 deposit; ironically enough, she moved out prior to the lights being turned out (which under the leasing terms would end her voucher support from HUD).  This woman at work mentioned something in her description of this tenant that unnerved me.  'She claimed to be a Christian.'

     This evoked several ill feelings within me.  First and foremost, we as Christians do not recognize the eyes that watch us.  There are many, believer, nonbeliever, and unbeliever alike, that are searching for a witness in you.  They are searching for a reason to believe in God, when in a Godless world it seems pointless to believe.  They are seeking that same source of joy and peace that is promised to us and sadly, we don't even recognize it.  Our actions and our behaviors reflect the world and not God.  They can influence others to think that our God is not worth the energy and that it may be easier to believe in Allah, Buddha, or themselves because Christians don't even have it together.  

     However, the even sadder part of this situation is that the world judges us just as the Pharisees of Jesus's time judged him and his associates.  They don't realize that God's works within us is a process and for some the changes take more time.  And sadly, many of us 'Christians' are still hurting, still wounded, and still recovering from our own hurts, inflicted upon us by life, our family, other Christians and ourselves.  So we continue the cycle and never get that true experience from God.  We never get that touch from Him that we need.  And who ends up losing out?  The very people that we are called to bear witness to.  Those that need His touch just as much as we do. 

     How do we fix this?  How can we reflect Jesus and His love to a dying, hurting, loveless world?  First we submit to Him.  We let Him transform us.  We let Him open our eyes and show us the ugly parts of ourselves.  We let Him unload the baggage, leaving the burdens we've brought at His feet.  And we forgive.  We apologize.  We walk in love, knowing that hurt people only hurt other people.  And then we embrace them.  We testify of God's goodness and mercy in our lives.  And we keep moving forward, closer to Him, so that our mirrors reflect Him and not our hang ups and hurts.

     After hearing this woman describe another member of our race as 'those people' and someone who claims to be a 'Christian', I prayed.  I prayed for myself, that God forgives my transgressions and missed opportunities at truly reflecting Him to others.  I prayed for that woman, and I prayed for the lady at my job.  I made a mental note to keep my mouth shut about being in law school forever, lol, but I made it my desire to submit to God and allow Him to keep working on me.  If that means I am unrecognizable to my friends and loved ones soon, its worth it.  Because it isn't me that should be seen, its Jesus.  Well, I love you guys...hope this blesses you.  I'm praying for you too, and I love you.

"Then he will say to those on his left, 'Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels.  For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.'  "They also will answer, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?'  "He will reply, 'Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.'  Matthew 25:41-45

Wait For Me

But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.  Isaiah 40:31

Wait.  As I looked at this scripture I saw wait instead written as trust in the Lord or hope in the Lord. My thoughts are heavy with this.  Why do we not like waiting?  What is it about waiting that seems unbearable?

As I go forward to answer my own question, its the uncertainty of the length of time in that waiting process.  Its the lack of definition of waiting.  Its not knowing what will happen or transpire in that process of waiting.  The key word here is that waiting is a process within itself.  Waiting forces you to not instantly gratify yourself with a cheap imitation instead of waiting and staying in faith.  For example, its like waiting to see your progress when you begin working out.  Waiting seems to give us no benefit, at least not immediate, and because of this, we rather not do it!  We live our lives like microwaves, zapping things into the now instead of appreciating the virtues that manifest as a result of waiting, like patience.  I'm really talking about myself, I want what I want right when I want it! Haha 

I had a problem with waiting that I have given to God to fix.  I told God I wasn't going to wait anymore in a particular situation.  I was not going to wait on what He told me, the promise He had given me because I was tired of waiting.  I was tired and I wanted to take my life into my own hands.  Then I heard almost immediately God say, "Will you wait for Me?"  Even as I type this, I tear up because I now think about this scripture.  In waiting on God, trusting in Him, and hoping in Him, my strength is renewed.  I can keep running the race.  I can keep walking forward along this journey.  Even when friends don't agree or understand or they simply cannot relate, I can wait on Him because regardless of what happens or how or when, God is still God and He has everything concerning me and you already taken care of.  Even if I end up completely alone in this process, I can wait on Him.

You have too much to lose to not wait on God.  We have so much tied up in our purpose, taking a detour or getting ahead of God can cause a lot of heartache.  Don't abort your purpose by choosing self instead of choosing Him.

And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.  Galatians 6:9 KJV

Solitary Confinement

Jesus was driving out a demon that was mute. When the demon left, the man who had been mute spoke, and the crowd was amazed.

Luke 11:14

I had an epiphany today; honestly it was like I was delivered.  Its funny how God works.  He takes the seemingly most innocent of situations to shine the light on an area of struggle in our lives.  And strangely enough, as much as I talk, as much as I encourage others, mine was silence.

Growing up and even as an adult, I have struggled to stand up for myself in some situations.  It usually takes me being provoked to places of extreme stress for me to actually 'come clean' with how I feel about something.  I would experience anxiety or feel like I was doing something wrong when I actually spoke up for myself.  I would be reluctant--and people would take advantage of me or hurt me...and all the while I would suffer in silence most times.  

I realize now that the lesson I learned and shared with a friend this summer was a two-fold lesson.  It is okay to speak up for myself...to put my needs first...to take care of me.  For years I have always put everyone but myself first.  I realize now that my silence was bondage.  I was bound by this voice in my head, that how I felt or my views of things was not important.  I even recognize now that the roots of this reach all the way back to my childhood, where I heard constantly, a child is to be seen and not heard.  So even when God would tell me things...one thing in particular I remember, I was told that my adult cousins could protect their marriages and relationships by keeping our family out of their households...more specifically out of their spousal and immediate family communications.  And now as an adult, I see that the words God gave me would have benefitted them all if I had a forum to share them.

I was delivered from this curse of silence, this prison of muteness and suffering and going through things alone last night at my church's communion service, and I realized it today how my thoughts and feelings not being validated or acknowledged locked me in my head with that pain.  So I would keep everything inside until it was boiling over like a tea kettle, burning anyone that came in contact with me.  Fortunately, God has not allowed that to permanently separate me from others or sever the relationships I cherish.  Instead, He showed me there was power in speaking and using my voice for its intended purpose.  I guess that is why I want to be a child advocate and juvenile judge--I want to give those 'children' the voice I never had, the courage to speak up for themselves and expose the ugly truths of their lives, something I felt I could not freely do.

Like the mute man above, Christ has freed me.  Like the mute man, I was quiet and my tongue was bound.  We both suffered in silence and when prodded and forced to speak, it came out in ways that did not reflect our true nature.  My suffering has always been muted and it really made me angry over the years.  I felt like I have always had to carry so much, including my own pain because there seemed to be no one to ever listen to me.  But for some reason God allowed me to endure a difficult 5 years at my job for me to finally see that I have a voice for a reason.  We all have a voice.  We all have a story to tell, a word to share, and a testimony to give.  I have spent so much time listening to other people's story and I have been scared to speak my own truth because it never seemed important enough.

I am comforted now because Jesus saw fit to deliver a demon-possessed man from his earthly prison and to give him back his voice.  And like him, I was released from my prison today and given back my voice to use it for Him.  I thank God for being able to write, but I know now its time for me to start speaking because it is in speaking that those things we desire manifest.  Speak your truth today and be freed!

The lame will leap like a deer, and those who cannot speak will sing for joy! Springs will gush forth in the wilderness, and streams will water the wasteland.

Isaiah 35:6