Bridges

Indeed, we personally had a death sentence within ourselves, so that we would not trust in ourselves but in God who raises the dead.  2 Corinthians 1:9

Trust. Submission. Commitment.  We often associate these words with our human relationships (platonic, familial, and romantic).  However these things, as I have learned this weekend, directly relate to our relationship with God.  These things serve as the steel beams, mortar and bricks necessary build the bridges that help us cross over the valleys in our lives.  Over this last year I have had to trust God in ways I have never done.  Moving here and starting school.  Needing to know who was for me or not.  Dealing with direct attacks from the enemy at work.  Wanting to be in a relationship, then get married and have kids.  Dealing with changes in the lives of my friends and family.  Dealing with loneliness and isolation.  Refusing to settle and to stop compromising.  Understanding God's intent for the relationships I have with others and the roles we are to play in each other's lives.  All these different valley experiences...and I have needed bridges to get over these things.  Some of these experiences required me to burn bridges too.  But this has all required me to learn to trust God in a different way.

I had a conversation with a person about trusting others.  I told him, trust is like the concept of innocent until proven guilty.  You give it until the person shows that they don't deserve it, otherwise, every little thing they do will keep you from ever truly connecting with them.  It is much like a baby; after birth, a newborn immediately trusts their mother.  Likewise, we are to immediately trust God and others.  God, however, is the only person that will not do anything to cause you to stop trusting Him.  On the other hand, it is always us--trying to control our lives, not fully submitting things to Him, and not seeking Him first, that causes us to think we cannot trust him.  And today, on the prayer call I dial into daily, she reaffirmed the same things and hit home for me.  And so in essence, I have to trust God, submit everything to Him--even those relationships, my wants, desires, dreams, and gifts--all to Him, and remain committed to His plan.

In middle school or high school, or maybe it was elementary school, I cannot remember for sure.  We had to build a bridge.  Mine was blue and made out of popsicle sticks (I was trying to make it look like steel, lol).  It was a triangular Truss bridge (sad I still remember that) lol.  In the process, I had to research bridges and how they could support different amounts of weight and forces based upon their structure.  And now, with all these things that have been going on lately, I realize that I was trying to build these bridges alone.  I have been holding onto people and things I should have completely released to God...and there were other situations I did not submit to God completely either.  While I have been avidly working towards fulfilling His will, I lacked the commitment to nurturing my personal relationship with God so things got difficult along the way because instead of seeking an intimate relationship with God for myself, I was always asking for something for myself or someone else.  So yes I was trusting Him for an answer, but I was not submitting to His way and plan.  I was still trying to control things, but not cultivating the relationship of trust directly with God.  Sadly now I realize, I was trying to use God without allowing myself to fully get to know Him...which is equal to a shallow, poorly constructed bridge that would not stand after a tornado or hurricane sized storm came through.

Even though I still do not know what the future holds in every area of my life, like when I will finally be released from New Orleans or when I will get married and have kids (so stop asking or don't ask me that! lol), I know that I trust God to build the bridges.  I will do my part and submit to His plan and remain committed to His way, doing those things He leads me to do, but differently this time.  I plan to seek Him, to delight myself in Him, to take that time necessary to sit and listen, to read and just bask in His love for us all.  If you are feeling like me, you do not have to know all the answers for yourself or for anyone else.  Just trust God.  Become friends with Him.  He wants to be an integral part of your life.  He wants you to know Him.  It is only when we get to this level of relationship that we can go through the storms and come out unscathed.  Why?  Because we will be walking with the Father the whole way and responding to His voice and direction.  Allow God to build your bridges and trust Him to walk over them into your destiny.

Delight yourself in the LORD; And He will give you the desires of your heart.  Commit your way to the LORD. Trust also in Him, and He will do it.

Psalm 37:4-5

And the Rooster Crowed

Then Jesus said to them, "You will all fall away because of Me this night, for it is written, 'I WILL STRIKE DOWN THE SHEPHERD, AND THE SHEEP OF THE FLOCK SHALL BE SCATTERED.'  "But after I have been raised, I will go ahead of you to Galilee."  But Peter said to Him, "Even though all may fall away because of You, I will never fall away."  Jesus said to him, "Truly I say to you that this very night, before a rooster crows, you will deny Me three times."  Peter said to Him, "Even if I have to die with You, I will not deny You." All the disciples said the same thing too. Matthew 26:31-35

Now Peter was sitting outside in the courtyard, and a servant-girl came to him and said, "You too were with Jesus the Galilean."  But he denied it before them all, saying, "I do not know what you are talking about."  When he had gone out to the gateway, another servant-girl saw him and said to those who were there, "This man was with Jesus of Nazareth."  And again he denied it with an oath, "I do not know the man."  A little later the bystanders came up and said to Peter, "Surely you too are one of them; for even the way you talk gives you away."  Then he began to curse and swear, "I do not know the man!" And immediately a rooster crowed.  And Peter remembered the word which Jesus had said, "Before a rooster crows, you will deny Me three times." And he went out and wept bitterly.  Matthew 26:69-75

I heard this morning to share my experience recently.  And I was reminded of these words.  About a week ago, I heard the Holy Spirit tell me I was going to do something that I thought I did not want to do.  When you hear things like this, you immediately think of the devil.  I even had a dream about it and prayed, rebuking the enemy away from me and I even tried avoiding the situation.  But over the course of the last few days, something happened within me to give me peace about my looming choice and to remind me of my own humanity--my own fallen state.

As I shared this with some of my friends, I was reminded of Paul in Romans 7 (look at verses 14 through 25)--that the things I want to do I don't do and the things I do not want to do I do.  It reminded me of my own sinful nature.  You see here I cannot blame the enemy for what happened, I had to look at myself because I chose to make a choice about something.  I chose to go forward in that direction.  And looking at this from a wider lens, I was reminded that we all have free will.  Yes temptation will come, but we ultimately have to make the choice to act on these things.  Over the last year, a change has taken place within me, involving forgiveness and much introspection...and in this process, I have truly grown, recognizing my need for God and His love more than ever.  During this time, I have fought with the age-old tactic of the enemy of using condemnation to guilt me into not talking to God after I have fallen short.  This is not a license to sin, but a key reminder of my need to cling to the Father even harder so that He can continue His work within me.  So even now, I do not feel condemned.  This experience sparked a dialogue within myself with the Father, causing me to ask question after question.  As a result, it taught me a great lesson: no matter what we do, God still loves us and like the Prodigal Son, will welcome us with open arms when we return to Him.  God loves those of us who have fallen short, those who have killed people (i.e. Moses, David, and Paul), those who were fearful (i.e. Moses, Elijah, and Timothy), those who were adulterous (i.e David), those who were liars (Joseph), and so many more things.  He used a prostitute (Rahab) and a foreigner (Ruth) to save the Jews.  He even restored Peter--doubting, boastful, denying Peter--as the foundation for the church.  And He will continue to use even me.  I am not perfect.  I have hated peopled, hurt people, and hurt myself.  I am not sinless (honestly, somebody ticks me off on a daily basis and I have told a lie or two or fifty--just joking..not really!!)  

I guess this served to remind me how much God loves me even in my weaknesses and how He is willing to go to such great lengths to show me that there is still more to this journey.  I appreciate it because just as Jesus restored Peter and he went forth to be one of the leaders of the church--God has already restored me.  This is important to those of us who minister and those who are being ministered to because it reminds us of our principal need for the Father.  And just as the rooster crowed for me, and reminded me of what had already been spoken, it saved me from myself and showed me of my need for God.

Long ago the LORD said to Israel: "I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love. With unfailing love I have drawn you to myself.  Jeremiah 31:3

When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?"  "Yes, Lord," he said, "you know that I love you."  Jesus said, "Feed my lambs."  Again Jesus said, "Simon son of John, do you love me?"  He answered, "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you."  Jesus said, "Take care of my sheep."  The third time he said to him, "Simon son of John, do you love me?"  Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, "Do you love me?" He said, "Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you."  Jesus said, "Feed my sheep.  Very truly I tell you, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go."  Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. Then he said to him, "Follow me!"  John 21:15-19

Don't Take It Personal

A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person's strength.  Proverbs 17:22

The spirit of a man can endure his sickness, But as for a broken spirit who can bear it?  Proverbs 18:14

A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit.  Proverbs 15:13

Don't Take It Personal was the debut single by Monica, way back when lol, who happens to be one of my favorite singers of all time.  Now the rest of the lyrics of this song don't relate all that much to what I am going to share here, but its the title that keeps ringing in my head lately because I realized a few days ago that I was taking things that had been happening a little too personally, to the point that my mood, demeanor and outlook all changed.

There have been so many things going on lately in my life and in the lives of my loved ones.  Consequently, these are things that I have taken personally and allowed to affect me in my heart and soul.  These things had me sad and honestly, feeling very broken.  Because the truth of the matter was that I could not fix these things myself.  Control issues surfacing again...Eeeck!!!...I guess I was still trying to fix stuff smh. I had to sit back and let God do His work.  But as I thought over the last few day how these situations had affected me this summer, I realized how personally I had taken them...they put me in a black hole so to speak.  I allowed the negativity that emitted from them to zap my strength, to hurt me, to put me in a place of unpleasantness, and cause me emotional turmoil.  I allowed disagreements, opinions, and attitudes as well as circumstances and situations to affect my energy and how I was feeling.  Finally, I heard God speaking to me repeatedly over the last few days, especially yesterday through the scriptures above on why I should stop the madness already!  LOL!!  I love that He has effortlessly stripped them off my back already and I am quickly returning to my chipper self.

I had crazy thoughts from all of these things.  Because of the relationship woes faced by some of my friends and associates, I temporarily felt I would be doomed to the single life of being alone and needed to find the nearest convent...even to the point that I thought it was best to deny myself the right to living one of my dreams of being married and a mother one day.  I allowed being here in New Orleans alone without close family or many friends to drag me down to the slums where I was having a regular pity party for myself.  I allowed the negative energy caused by the test of my faith at work to drain me to the brink of depression and I allowed other things to nearly ruin my birthday.  I allowed the struggles of others to tug on my heart so much that I would feel sad instantly from hearing of their struggles.  As I think of this now, I recognize that I was being attacked mentally, physically and spiritually by the enemy through these things.  Why and how, you ask? Because I had taken them personally and as a result, I gave him a door of opportunity to infect my mind.  Even worse, like a first time gardener, I nurtured those weeds unknowingly!

Do not get me wrong...we all go through and are comforted by God to in turn provide comfort to others.  Going through is a part of the Christian walk.  We are called to help carry and share the burdens of our brothers and sisters in the body of Christ.  However, I have yet to find a place in the Bible that says we are to take these things so personally that we allow the words subsequently planted by the enemy after we open that door to throw us into a conundrum where we then doubt the promises of God for our own lives.  And that is what I was doing.  Taking everything personally, dragging myself down.  My error involved two things: not guarding my heart and not being as vigilant as I should have been over my thoughts.

So as a result, my heart was aching.  And as I took a giant leap back from others to rest and refuel these last few weeks, God has shown me many things and in turn revealed the condition I was suffering from and its source.  Taking things personally breaks our spirits.  Taking things personally basically puts us under the feet of others and causes us to be trampled by their lives and our own lives.  I also just realized it indicates a lack of complete faith and submission to God because we then try to fix these things in our own strength or we allow those seeds to take root in our own minds, causing tares in our garden.  And it isn't others that have to weed your garden--God does it with you being a willing participant!  We cannot allow what others do to us, the things those close to us are facing, the ills of the world, and the drawbacks we face personally to get us so distraught that we drawback from God or we attempt to take fixing the wrongs of life into our own hands.  We are told to place our burdens at the feet of Jesus--don't you know that it includes the burdens of others and every situation we encounter, too?  We have to leave our bitter supervisors and co-workers, unhappy family members, confused friends and in my case, loneliness, and any other issues that arise at the feet of Jesus.  We have to put on that garment of praise and remember that God will get us through this time and also get others through their tough times as long as we are trusting and resting in Him.  We cannot take things so personally that we disconnect from God.  Remember, the joy of the Lord is your strength, so if you lack joy--something that no man can take away--you lack strength!

If you would have saw me around the second and third weeks of July...you would have asked me what was wrong.  I had so much on my mind; I was dealing with stuff that wasn't even my own to deal with and as a result, I questioned myself (this is why it is key to go to God for yourself for that clarity, because while others may be able to provide insight, only God can truly reveal the truth, but that is most definitely another devotion, another day for that, lol).  But in submitting these things to God, I have gained a key to the future.  While it is much easier said than done--to not take things personally, that is--the one thing I can always do is pray for God to help me with it.  You can do the same and trust that God has you, your friends and family, and even your coworkers in the palm of His hand.  He will work it out for you!

Heaviness in the heart of man makes him stoop: but a good word makes him glad.  Proverbs 12:25

Fwd: Entrapment

"Pull me from the trap my enemies set for me, for I find protection in you alone."  Psalm 31:4 NLT

I apologize in advance is this too much information.  As I was sitting in the restroom...I go there to pray and refocus while I am at work...I heard the word 'entrapment.'  I heard it almost as a poem (it kinda makes me wish I still wrote poetry and that I could say this at a spoken word venue) of how the enemy has set and laid traps for us.

I heard it like this:

Like an officer in between the pillars at night with his radar gun and with his lights out, waiting for an unassuming speeder to catch so does the enemy lie in wait for us.

Entrapment.

Like a snake in the grass or a lion chasing a zebra or wildebeest or an ass...so does the enemy set traps to steal us away.

Entrapment.

Fear and judgmental-ism and self-righteousness and anger and worry and racism and sexism and hatred, even mere criticism are all his tools...the hate-filled words he uses to divide us, trapping us like a fisherman traps fish and crab and shrimp in his nets to feed the masses.

Entrapment.

To steal us away from our eternal home, he uses the cravings of power and greed and lust and deceitful fleshly desires to lure us like a child is lured away from their parents for candy.

Entrapment.

Much like he did Eve in the garden of Eden he taunts us with fame, wealth beyond recognition and materialistic bounty, he draws us over the plank into a sea of separation from God.

Entrapment.

Recognize the traps.

He entraps us through our own desires.  Through those late night, secret thoughts, through and under the guise of wealth-building and fame and meeting our every fantasy, he calls us away from God.  And it is usually not in one big leap, but little by little.  It is like the wrong turn when following a GPS.  Instead of turning around and getting back on track, many of us, including myself, have all tried to go it alone, ignoring the GPS's voice as she beckons to us to turn around.  We try to find our own way to the promised land and we end up lost...and some of us are lost forever.

As I thought about this in light of all the things going on in the world, I laughed.  I didn't laugh because it's funny.  I laughed because God will expose these things to us.  God will remove the blinders of how the enemy has tried to ensnare us.  So how can we recognize a trap of the enemy?

Well what I have learned so far is that if there is anything that leads you away from God and what He has spoken to you, either directly or indirectly through the Word--to the point that it has you ignoring that tug of God on your heart to call on Him--that is a trap that you may have gotten yourself captured in.  

The traps of the enemy are varied and expansive.  We must remember that while God allows the enemy to target us at times for our testing, other times we succumb to his temptation because we refuse to recognize the enemy at work in our lives through those things we desire.  I must stress that wanting wealth, desiring fame and living abundantly are NOT wrong.  But what is wrong is idolizing these things or allowing the pursuit of these things to cripple us to the point that we do not acknowledge God.  Even being set in your ways and refusing to change can indicate a trap that the enemy has caught you in.  Recognize the enemy for who he is and know that through Christ you have already overcome the enemy.

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.  1 Corinthians 10:13

You are from God, little children, and have overcome them; because greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world.  1 John 4:4