Bridges

Indeed, we personally had a death sentence within ourselves, so that we would not trust in ourselves but in God who raises the dead.  2 Corinthians 1:9

Trust. Submission. Commitment.  We often associate these words with our human relationships (platonic, familial, and romantic).  However these things, as I have learned this weekend, directly relate to our relationship with God.  These things serve as the steel beams, mortar and bricks necessary build the bridges that help us cross over the valleys in our lives.  Over this last year I have had to trust God in ways I have never done.  Moving here and starting school.  Needing to know who was for me or not.  Dealing with direct attacks from the enemy at work.  Wanting to be in a relationship, then get married and have kids.  Dealing with changes in the lives of my friends and family.  Dealing with loneliness and isolation.  Refusing to settle and to stop compromising.  Understanding God's intent for the relationships I have with others and the roles we are to play in each other's lives.  All these different valley experiences...and I have needed bridges to get over these things.  Some of these experiences required me to burn bridges too.  But this has all required me to learn to trust God in a different way.

I had a conversation with a person about trusting others.  I told him, trust is like the concept of innocent until proven guilty.  You give it until the person shows that they don't deserve it, otherwise, every little thing they do will keep you from ever truly connecting with them.  It is much like a baby; after birth, a newborn immediately trusts their mother.  Likewise, we are to immediately trust God and others.  God, however, is the only person that will not do anything to cause you to stop trusting Him.  On the other hand, it is always us--trying to control our lives, not fully submitting things to Him, and not seeking Him first, that causes us to think we cannot trust him.  And today, on the prayer call I dial into daily, she reaffirmed the same things and hit home for me.  And so in essence, I have to trust God, submit everything to Him--even those relationships, my wants, desires, dreams, and gifts--all to Him, and remain committed to His plan.

In middle school or high school, or maybe it was elementary school, I cannot remember for sure.  We had to build a bridge.  Mine was blue and made out of popsicle sticks (I was trying to make it look like steel, lol).  It was a triangular Truss bridge (sad I still remember that) lol.  In the process, I had to research bridges and how they could support different amounts of weight and forces based upon their structure.  And now, with all these things that have been going on lately, I realize that I was trying to build these bridges alone.  I have been holding onto people and things I should have completely released to God...and there were other situations I did not submit to God completely either.  While I have been avidly working towards fulfilling His will, I lacked the commitment to nurturing my personal relationship with God so things got difficult along the way because instead of seeking an intimate relationship with God for myself, I was always asking for something for myself or someone else.  So yes I was trusting Him for an answer, but I was not submitting to His way and plan.  I was still trying to control things, but not cultivating the relationship of trust directly with God.  Sadly now I realize, I was trying to use God without allowing myself to fully get to know Him...which is equal to a shallow, poorly constructed bridge that would not stand after a tornado or hurricane sized storm came through.

Even though I still do not know what the future holds in every area of my life, like when I will finally be released from New Orleans or when I will get married and have kids (so stop asking or don't ask me that! lol), I know that I trust God to build the bridges.  I will do my part and submit to His plan and remain committed to His way, doing those things He leads me to do, but differently this time.  I plan to seek Him, to delight myself in Him, to take that time necessary to sit and listen, to read and just bask in His love for us all.  If you are feeling like me, you do not have to know all the answers for yourself or for anyone else.  Just trust God.  Become friends with Him.  He wants to be an integral part of your life.  He wants you to know Him.  It is only when we get to this level of relationship that we can go through the storms and come out unscathed.  Why?  Because we will be walking with the Father the whole way and responding to His voice and direction.  Allow God to build your bridges and trust Him to walk over them into your destiny.

Delight yourself in the LORD; And He will give you the desires of your heart.  Commit your way to the LORD. Trust also in Him, and He will do it.

Psalm 37:4-5