You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people. Genesis 50:20
I often wonder how I would act if I had gone through the exact circumstances Joseph faced. Actually I have, to an extent, faced betrayal by family and friends, abandonment, harassment, discouragement, and I have even inflicted suffering on myself with poor choices, but I can finally say I'm over it all now.
This will be brief, but my goal is to encourage you to walk out your healing and get over it. I'm reminded of Marvin Winans song, "I'm Over It Now." I know this process to be true...one day as I was praying to walk in forgiveness, I finally realized the pain that used to be a prevalent reminder was gone. I was not angry or hurting or upset about life or about the wrongs I had experienced. I was free. I was free to live, to walk in love, and to just be. Then I realized that those things I was holding on to had been allowed by God for some purpose that I didn't previously understand. Now, on the other side, I recognize the mistakes I made and the things that happened to me were all to be a blessing to others. It was to encourage them, uplift them and to guide them along their way with a word of advice, something I did not have.
I thank God that I'm over it now, and like Joseph I see the blessing in those things and I know that God will work it out to be a blessing to others in your case too.
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